Almost two months later, the pain in Yeovil Town has not subsided after the tragic death of its captain Lee Collins.
Manager Darren Sarll and owner Scott Priestnall both feel that part of them has been missing since Collins committed suicide on March 31, when he was only 32 years old.
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Yeovil Town is still struggling to cope with the pain of losing captain Lee Collins in MarchPhoto credit: Getty
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Manager Darren Sarll saw a consultant after the tragedyPhoto credit: Getty
While teammate Carl Dickinson is still frustrated that “Collo” did not open up to him about his demons, even though the two often discussed the loss they had suffered in their lives.
The defense attorney said: “You always think when he has just said something to me.” To be honest, I still have a bit of a problem with that.
“Most of the time when we had a beer it was a deep and meaningful conversation because we had been through similar things – we both lost our fathers.
“You think, ‘If you could talk to me about something so profound, why couldn’t you talk about the other side?'”
It is one of many unanswered questions that those affected by Collins’ death ask no more than his partner Rachel and their daughters Amelia, Laila and Charley-Mae.
The club has launched a crowdfunding campaign to raise money for the girls who were guests and mascots in the last home game against Stockport on Saturday.
Lee Harvey Collins was a gentle giant who constantly put others in front of him. What happened seems to have come as a complete shock to everyone.
Sarll, who signed him to Forest Green in 2019, described his skipper as an “iceberg” – a strong presence that gave no indication of the problems he was facing beneath the surface.
He was an authoritative figure in the locker room that all players admired and respected.
Dickinson, whose 17-year career led him from the Premier League to the National League, saw a kindred spirit in Collins.
The 34-year-old said: “I first met Collo at a bachelorette party with my old teammates. He was a happy, fun, and caring guy who seemed to get his money’s worth.
“He was a tough competitor. Everything he did meant something. He was a winner, I’d like to believe that’s why we got along so well. We had the same energy. “
Sarll will never forget to receive the phone call detailing the terrible news.
Almost all of Yeovil’s players live in different parts of the country but stay in local apartments a few days a week.
Sarll went to Collins’s quarters, which were surrounded by flashing blue lights.
The 38-year-old felt obliged to personally deliver the news to each of his players that evening.
For a really brilliant person who just cared about it and gave his time and energy to someone else, now let’s do the same to his girls
Darren Sarll
Sarll recalled: “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
“The first time you shock yourself by saying the words. At the end of the evening, you are numb to what is actually coming out of your mouth. “
Dickinson, who shared an apartment with three other players, celebrated his birthday that evening.
But he knew something was going on when a somber-sounding Sarll said he would stop by.
The left-back said, “I opened the door to the top light, saw his face and knew something was wrong.
“When he finally sat us down and told us, it’s something I won’t forget. It was terrible.
“As a group, we decided to go home the next day. Pretty much every boy in the squad doesn’t come from anywhere near Yeovil. That was the best we did just to get back to family. “
Most of the players eventually returned – although some couldn’t stand it – and everyone tried to return to a normalcy so impossible to achieve.
Priestnall said, “I’m sad when I go to the club. God knows what it is like for everyone else to walk through these doors every day and miss a piece of it.
“I think the club has still not gone through what we have to go through.
“It’s probably a good thing that the season is over by the end of this week so people can have a good time with their families and take care of themselves.”
Dickinson nodded a little at the flowers in front of the stadium or waved when he drove in.
His locker is next to Collins’ and he pokes him every day, and so does the picture of her deceased colleague on display in the tunnel in Huish Park.
After a two week hiatus for a compassionate vacation, the team started playing games again, but it was largely a blur and results were unsurprisingly affected.
The players and staff are still grieving. The end of the season couldn’t come soon enough.
Sarll has not been able to celebrate a goal since then and sees an advisor.
YOU’RE NOT ALONE
One life is lost to suicide every 90 minutes in the UK.
It does not discriminate and affects the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and the unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and soccer players.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car accidents.
However, there is seldom talk of a taboo that threatens to continue its fatal rampage unless we all stop now and take note of it.
This is why The Sun launched the “You are not alone” campaign.
The aim is for all of us to do our part in saving lives by sharing practical advice, raising awareness, and removing the barriers people face when talking about their mental health.
Let us all swear to ask for help when we need it and to listen to others … you are not alone.
If you or someone you know needs help managing mental health problems, the following organizations can help:
It made him reevaluate how he treats players in the locker room and no longer want to lose his temper because you never know what someone is going through in private.
He added: “We have to adapt. I have to adapt. Everything I believe in now is more about prevention than cure.
“If I have taken anything from this experience, the healing is really difficult.
“Sometimes it is not doable and this person is not able to do it.
“It’s about knowledge, it’s about retraining our brains to be open-minded that this thing is a lot here, this disease is very much among us, it can be in every locker room in the country at every level and it plays Doesn’t matter if that person has 10 million pounds in the bank or 10 pence.
“It’s something that we all need to take into account and that we probably need to train on a little.”
Mental health is a topic of increasing discussion in society and even in football, so it is often the last thing to catch up.
However, Dickinson believes that more can be done to help players struggling internally.
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Flowers, scarves and messages were placed in front of Huish ParkPhoto credit: PA
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A crowdfunder page has been set up to raise funds for Collins’ familyPhoto credit: rowdfunder.co.uk
The ex-husband from Watford and Port Vale added, “After what has happened, representatives from certain areas should go to clubs once or twice a month, whether they are professionals or ex-players themselves have experienced to get the mentality of the soccer team.
“Some players may be more willing to speak to an ex-pro than to one [mental health] professional or vice versa.
“The club was fantastic, but in terms of the overall picture of each club, I think there needs to be more people coming in and talking to guys.”
Sarll was deeply committed to ensuring that Collins’ wife and daughters had financial support, so he helped start the fundraiser for them.
Ten percent of donations go to the Young Minds charity, which provides mental health support to all young people in need.
Sarll added: “Lee has played for some big institutions. He started with Wolves, he played with Barnsley, Shrewsbury, Northampton, Port Vale, Yeovil and Forest Green.
“If the football world really wants to get behind this, we can do something really great.
“In a world where we are surrounded by real negativity, misery and, for many of us, death, we can do something really great here for young people.
“For a really brilliant person who just cared about it and gave his time and energy to someone else, now let’s do the same with his girls.”
To support the crowdfunder campaign, visit www.crowdfunder.co.uk/in-memory-of-lee-collins
Fans pay tribute to Yeovil captain Lee Collins
